♕ A Prince With No Crown ♕

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Hey, it's *Rieydz here, and welcome to my haus.
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Tuesday, July 12, 2011 ★ 11:38 PM

Phobia

Lately I had been zombiefied again..
I don't talk to people..
I don't mix with people..
Why? Because I'm frustrated...
I had been chosen for the National Service(PLKN)...
I don't care about the PLKN thing..
I only care about my hair... PLKN's rules are that I need to go bald..
It's against what Gaga had taught me...
I had my right for my hair...
They can't simply ask me to go bald..
What kind of fucking rule is that?
A lot of people don't understand...
They only know to say "Relax... It's just hair.. It will grow back.."
What do you expect me to do? Sit there & wait for my hair to grow?
I don't have the time to wait for it to grow back you fucking idiot!

I love my hair... I'm ugly without my hair..

Yes, I'm ashamed of it.. I don't want to go bald...

I know a lot of people will laugh at me... Because bald means ugly...

I had enough of these insultion...

Once, I love a girl... I really love her...
But, she rejects me because I'm ugly..
I know that she's laughing at me...
"X sedar dirik ka? Muka kdk ya mok ngan aku? HAHAHA!"
I cried my heart out.. I even zombiefied for a week....
Since then, I start to care about my appearance...
I always feeling insecure about my look...
I always admire those with good-looking and I try to be like them..
But I'll never be like them.. What's ugly remains ugly... So do I...
But at least I'd try to change... And the result was good... More people like me then..
Plus, I had become more confident since then..
But now... the PLKN force me to go bald...
I don't want that... Please... I'm begging you...
I can 'see' those people who will laugh at me.. Because I'm ugly..
No one will like me anymore... I'm trauma for the incident..
I hope that whoever is reading this now understand why I don't want to go for the PLKN...
It's not that I don't want to go, I just don't want to go bald....
But I had been chosen. I had no choice but to go...
So, this I promise you all... After I come back, don't ever try to find me..
I'll deactivated my BOTH facebook, delete my blog, change my number...
I can't bear the shamed of going bald... I don't want to see any of you in my bald condition... I'm ashamed of myself... By doing this, no one can see me and laugh me...
So, I'm sorry k? I love you all but I really need to disappear.
Thanks for being my friend..

With love,
Rieydz

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